Essential Guide to Newborn Behaviors: What Every Expecting Parent Needs to Know
As a new parent, it’s easy to feel uncertain about what’s normal and what isn’t. It’s easy to worry when your baby doesn’t seem to sleep the way you expected or when they want to feed again just moments after a previous session. But here’s the thing - many of these behaviors, while confusing, are completely normal. Understanding your baby’s behaviors isn’t just about easing your worries - it’s also about learning to respond to their cues. This guide is here to shine a light on those early days, helping you decode the normal, yet sometimes perplexing, behaviors of your newborn. Your baby is communicating with you from day one - it’s just a matter of learning their language.
In this blog post
Newborn sleep patterns
Newborn feeding patterns
Diaper output
Newborn reflexes
Crying as communication
Newborn sleep patterns
One of the most common surprises for new parents is just how much - and how unpredictably - a newborn sleeps. The reality of newborn sleep can catch you off guard, especially when their sleep doesn’t follow any sort of pattern you’re used to. Understanding what’s normal when it comes to newborn sleep can help you manage your expectations and ease any concerns you might have. And remember, there’s no “one size fits all” approach - each baby is unique, and so is their sleep.
How much do newborns sleep?
The sleep patterns of newborns can vary widely. The Sleep Foundation states that “newborns may sleep as few as 11 hours or as many as 19 hours each day”. Unlike adults, who (ideally) sleep in long, continuous stretches, newborns sleep in shorter bursts—often just 1 to 3 hours at a time. This fragmented sleep schedule is completely normal and is driven by their tiny stomachs, which need frequent filling.
Times of day and night: why baby’s sleep seems backwards
Sometimes people refer to newborns as having their “days and nights mixed up”. They may be more alert during the night and sleepier during the day. This is largely due to their physiological development. Babies are born without a developed circadian rhythm, which takes a few months to develop.
Baby’s need to be held
Another common behavior is your newborn’s desire to be held, especially when sleeping. You might find that your baby falls asleep easily in your arms but wakes up the moment you try to put them down. This can be exhausting, but it’s also to be expected. Babies are comforted by your warmth, scent, and the sound of your heartbeat - things they’ve known since before birth. Being held helps them feel secure, which is why they often sleep better in your arms.
Recognizing that your baby’s desire to be held often is a sign of their need for comfort and security, rather than something you need to "fix," can make those long nights feel more manageable. If holding your baby for every sleep isn’t sustainable for you, you could experiment with swaddling, using a baby carrier, using a side-car crib, or bedsharing (following bedsharing safety guidelines).
Baby sleep concerns
As we’ve discussed, newborn sleep patterns can vary widely. As there can be such drastic differences in sleep patterns, it may be helpful to avoid comparing your baby’s sleep patterns to how your friends’ babies sleep, and especially to what you read online. You may find it interesting to know that many people online, particularly in sleep training communities, give a narrower range of “normal” infant sleep totals than what the evidence actually suggests. If you are worried about how much sleep your baby is getting, you might consider whether there are any red flags that indicate there could be a problem, and it may be helpful to discuss any concerns with your baby’s paediatrician.
Newborn feeding patterns
Feeding your newborn is often the main focus in those early weeks, because it’s such a frequent affair! Newborns have tiny stomachs, so it makes sense that they need to eat often. Understanding the normal feeding patterns of a newborn can help you feel more prepared and confident as you navigate this important part of early parenthood.
Frequency of newborn feeding
Breastfed newborns typically feed 8 to 12 times in a 24-hour period. This means you’ll likely be feeding your baby every 2 to 3 hours, including throughout the night. Formula takes slightly longer to digest, so babies may not need another feed for 3 to 4 hours after a formula feed. Whether they are fed by human milk or formula milk, they may also cue to feed even more often.
It might seem like just as you finish one feeding, it’s time to start another. Feeding frequently is not just about nourishment - it also provides comfort and helps to regulate your baby’s body temperature, heart rate, and breathing, making them feel safe and secure in the outside world. While it can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re sleep-deprived, responding to your baby’s feeding cues is crucial for your baby’s growth and development, as well as for establishing and maintaining your milk supply.
Length of newborn feeding sessions
The length of feeding sessions can vary widely from baby to baby, and even from one feed to the next. Some newborns might nurse for 10 to 15 minutes on each breast, while others may take up to 45 minutes. This variation is normal, and as you get to know your baby, you’ll start to recognize their feeding patterns. If you find feeds are always shorter than 15 minutes or longer than an hour, you might benefit from consulting with a lactation specialist.
Keep in mind that newborns can be slow eaters, especially in the early days as they’re still learning how to coordinate sucking, swallowing, and breathing. It’s important to be patient and allow them the time they need to feed effectively. And don’t be surprised if after 6 weeks feeds suddenly become much shorter - all this feeding practice helps them to become much more efficient as they get older!
Cluster feeding
One of the most intense aspects of newborn feeding is cluster feeding - a period when your baby seems to want to nurse almost continuously over several hours. This often happens in the evening, and is thought to be particularly common during growth spurts.
Cluster feeding can be demanding and might make you question whether you’re producing enough milk. However, it’s a normal behavior. There are theories that cluster feeding helps boost your milk supply to meet your baby’s growing needs, or that it helps them to prepare for a longer stretch of sleep during the night. It’s also your baby’s way of seeking extra comfort and closeness.
Personally, I found the best way to manage evening cluster feeding was to get myself ready for bed around 4pm, and then I could just relax in bed with my baby - with plenty of water, snacks, and episodes of The Office. Even though cluster feeding can be intense, remember - this is just a stage, and it doesn’t last forever.
Your baby’s hunger cues
Hunger cues are behaviours that signal your baby is ready for a feed. Understanding hunger cues is key to feeding on demand. Signs that your baby is hungry include rooting (turning their head towards anything that brushes against their cheek), sucking on their hands or fingers, and becoming more alert and active. Crying is actually a late sign of hunger, and can make latching more difficult, so try to respond to those early cues to help keep them calm.
Embracing the feeding journey
Feeding your newborn is about so much more than just providing nutrition. Whether feeding at the breast or bottle, it’s a time for bonding, comforting, and getting to know your baby. While the frequent feedings can be tiring, understanding what’s normal can provide some perspective for this part of your journey. Trust that your baby knows what they need, and that you’re doing an incredible job of meeting those needs, one feeding session at a time.
Diaper output: a key to monitoring your baby’s health
Regular diaper output is one of the best indicators that your baby is feeding well and staying healthy. Dehydration, constipation, or feeding difficulties can all affect diaper output, so it’s important to monitor this and consult your healthcare provider if you have any concerns. If your baby is producing the expected number of wet and dirty diapers, it’s a good sign that they’re getting enough to eat and staying hydrated. This can be especially reassuring for parents who are breastfeeding - it’s a reliable indicator that your baby is getting enough milk.
Wet diapers
In the first few days after birth, your baby may only have a few wet diapers as they adjust to feeding. However, by the time your baby is about five days old, you should start seeing around six or more heavy wet diapers per day. This is a good sign that your baby is getting enough milk and is properly hydrated. To know what a ‘heavy’ wet diaper feels like, you can pour 4 tablespoons of water into a clean diaper to feel how heavy it is.
The color of your baby’s urine can also tell you something about their hydration. Pale yellow or clear urine is a sign of good hydration, while darker yellow can indicate that your baby needs more fluids. If you notice any pinkish stains in the diaper, these are usually urate crystals, which can be normal in the first few days but should disappear as your baby starts feeding more regularly. If they persist, it’s a good idea to consult your healthcare provider.
Dirty diapers
The contents of your baby’s dirty diapers will change quite a bit during those first few weeks. In the very beginning, your baby will pass meconium - a thick, sticky, dark green or black substance that they’ve been storing in their intestines during pregnancy. Meconium usually lasts for the first day or two.
As your baby starts feeding more, their stools will transition from meconium to a more yellowish, seedy, and soft or slightly runny consistency. If you’re breastfeeding, your baby’s poop might look mustard yellow with a slightly sweet smell. Formula-fed babies often have stools that are more tan or brown and firmer in texture, like peanut butter.
It’s normal for newborns to have multiple bowel movements a day - sometimes after every feeding. However, some babies might go a day or two without a dirty diaper, especially if they’re exclusively breastfed. As long as your baby’s stools are soft and they’re not showing signs of discomfort, this variation can be normal.
newborn reflexes
Newborns come into the world with a set of reflexes - automatic responses that are essential for their survival and development. Understanding them can help you better respond to your baby’s needs.
The rooting reflex
When you gently stroke your baby’s cheek, they’ll turn their head towards the touch and open their mouth. This is their way of seeking out the breast or bottle, getting ready to feed. The rooting reflex is strongest during the first few weeks and helps your baby find your nipple or the bottle’s teat more easily. If you bring your baby close to your chest when they show signs of hunger, they will likely nuzzle against your skin, starting their search for the breast.
The suck reflex
When something touches the roof of your baby’s mouth, they automatically begin to suck. This reflex is essential for feeding, whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, and is soothing for babies. If you’re breastfeeding, the suck reflex also helps stimulate your milk production.
The Moro Reflex
The Moro reflex, or startle reflex, is one of the most dramatic and easily recognizable newborn reflexes. If your baby is startled, they’ll react by throwing their arms out to the sides, opening their hands, and then bringing their arms back in close to their body, often with a cry. The Moro reflex is a normal part of your baby’s development and typically fades by around three to six months of age.
The grasp reflex
If you place your finger in your baby’s palm, you’ll likely notice them wrap their tiny fingers around yours with surprising strength. This is the grasp reflex, and it’s not just limited to their hands - your baby will also have a similar reflex in their feet, curling their toes when the soles are touched. The grasp reflex is thought to help develop your baby’s muscle tone and coordination. Over time, this reflex will give way to more intentional grabbing and holding.
The stepping reflex
While it look like your baby is ready to take their first steps, the stepping reflex is thought to be related more to muscle development and coordination than actual walking. It can also help babies to move themselves towards the breast to feed. It typically disappears by the time your baby is about two months old, to reappear later when they’re truly ready to start walking.
Why babies cry
While crying can be stressful and overwhelming, it’s important to remember that crying is normal and serves as an essential form of communication for your baby.
Reasons for crying
Hunger: One of the most common reasons for crying is hunger. Newborns have small stomachs and need to feed frequently. If your baby is crying shortly after a feeding, it might be a sign that they’re still hungry. For babies fed at the breast, if they’ve fed on one breast and are still cueing to feed, try offering the other breast.
Discomfort: Babies may cry due to discomfort caused by a wet diaper, tight clothing, or being too hot or too cold. Check to make sure your baby’s diaper is clean, and that their clothing is comfortable and suitable for the temperature of the room.
Fatigue: Being overly tired can make babies irritable. If your baby is crying and showing signs of rubbing their eyes or yawning, they might just need some sleep.
Separation: Babies like to be close to their caregivers. If they cry when you put them down, or shortly after, it may be because they sense they are no longer in the safety of your arms. See above for strategies on coping with separation and sleep.
Embracing the Journey: Trusting Your Instincts and Seeking Support
Embrace the learning curve, trust your instincts, and don’t hesitate to seek support when needed - whether from healthcare professionals, lactation specialists, postpartum doulas, or friends and family, the resources and networks available to you can help to guide and reassure you.
Your baby’s early behaviors are their way of communicating their needs and adjusting to their new environment. By understanding and responding to these cues, you’re fostering a nurturing environment that supports their growth and development, while also reinforcing the special bond between you. Trust that you know your baby best, and know that you’re doing an amazing job.
