5 Ways You Change As a New Mom
Matrescence and the Transformative Journey of Motherhood
Becoming a mother is one of the most profound transitions in a woman’s life, touching every part of her being—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This journey is called matrescence, a term that describes the process of becoming a mother. Coined by medical anthropologist Dana Raphael and brought into modern discourse by Dr. Aurelie Athan, matrescence highlights the complexity of this life stage, which is often likened to adolescence for its intensity and depth of change.
As new moms, we can sometimes feel caught between the demands of motherhood and our own personal transformations. It’s important to remember that these changes are not just physical but also affect our minds, relationships, and sense of purpose. In this post, we'll explore five key ways motherhood changes you, based on Aurelie Athan’s definition of matresence as a bio-psycho-social-political-spiritual shift. Whether you're navigating hormonal shifts, redefining your identity, or finding your place in society as a mother, understanding these changes can help you embrace the journey with more self-compassion and confidence.
1. Biological Changes: The Postpartum Body & Hormonal Shifts
Motherhood brings about profound biological changes, beginning with physical recovery from childbirth. Whether you had a vaginal birth or a C-section, your body is healing from one of the most intense processes it can go through. Hormonal shifts can also lead to emotional highs and lows, as your body adjusts to new levels of estrogen and progesterone. In addition, many mothers experience sleep deprivation, which not only impacts energy levels but also influences mood and cognitive function.
The changes extend beyond hormones and sleep, as the brain itself undergoes neuroplastic shifts, sometimes called “mom brain.” These changes can heighten emotional sensitivity and strengthen mother-baby bonding. Breastfeeding also plays a big role in your physical demands, from frequent nursing to milk production, often causing fatigue and hunger.
Another key aspect to consider is the nutrient depletion that occurs during pregnancy and childbirth. Vital nutrients like iron, calcium, and DHA are often used up, which can contribute to postpartum depletion if not properly replenished. Focusing on nutrient-dense foods and, where necessary, supplementation is critical in aiding your recovery and preventing long-term postpartum depletion.
It’s important to normalize the challenges of these changes and prioritize self-care, giving your body the time and nourishment it needs to heal.
2. Psychological Changes: Shifting Identity and Emotional Growth
Motherhood brings significant psychological transformations as you navigate the emotional rollercoaster of early postpartum life. It’s common to feel a mix of joy, anxiety, uncertainty, and even grief as you adjust to your new role. One day might feel blissful, while the next might leave you questioning whether you’re doing everything right. This emotional turbulence is completely normal and part of the deep internal growth that occurs.
A key psychological shift is in your identity. The person you were before becoming a mother evolves, as your priorities change and your sense of self expands to include the responsibility of nurturing a new life. Another manifestation of “mom brain” is cognitive overload, where there are constant demands on your time and attention.
Motherhood also enhances emotional growth. Many women report feeling increased empathy and emotional resilience, developing a deeper capacity for compassion not only toward their child but also themselves and others. This emotional expansion is a core part of matrescence and can be empowering, even amid the challenges.
It’s important to recognize that feeling overwhelmed is a common experience. Many new mothers struggle with feelings of doubt or inadequacy, but addressing mental health early on - through, for example, supportive communities, therapy, or self-care - can be key to navigating this complex emotional terrain.
3. Social Changes: Navigating New Relationships and Expectations
Becoming a mother brings about significant social changes, often reshaping relationships with partners, friends, and family. The dynamic between you and your partner can shift as you both navigate new roles, from co-parenting to balancing responsibilities. Friendships may also evolve, especially with those who don’t have children or can’t relate to the intensity of early motherhood.
This period often marks a transition from independence to interdependence, where relying on others for support becomes necessary. Finding or creating a support system is vital during this time. Whether through mom groups, mother’s circles, or online communities, connecting with others who understand your experience can provide comfort and reduce feelings of isolation.
However, motherhood also comes with new societal expectations - there’s pressure to be perfect, constantly available, and able to “do it all.” These unrealistic ideals can be overwhelming, making it even more important to seek help and surround yourself with a village that uplifts and supports you. Motherhood is not meant to be navigated alone. Building a strong community, both virtually and in person, is essential for mental and emotional well-being.
4. Political Changes: The Societal & Systemic Challenges of Motherhood
The political aspects of motherhood was probably what I was most surprised by when I became a mother. I had never heard anyone talk about how deeply intertwined motherhood with political structures, influencing personal experiences in ways that are often overlooked. Policies surrounding maternity leave, paid family leave, and workplace discrimination can significantly impact a mother’s ability to care for her child while maintaining financial stability. This can also have a profound impact on the ability to sustain a breastfeeding relationship. In countries with limited paid leave, many mothers are forced to return to work before they are emotionally or physically ready, underscoring the lack of support within broader societal systems.
The mental load of being the primary caregiver - managing household tasks, childcare, and emotional labor - further highlights how mothers bear the brunt of systemic shortcomings. In addition, the fight for reproductive rights and access to adequate maternal healthcare remains an ongoing battle. These political issues shape not only the immediate postpartum experience but also the long-term well-being of mothers and their families.
Motherhood, therefore, isn’t just a personal journey but one that is deeply influenced by political frameworks. Women are left to navigate these challenges without sufficient support. Recognizing this can inspire advocacy for better maternal care and systemic change - a side effect of postpartum that I definitely wasn’t expecting, but has now changed the whole trajectory of my career (and life!)
5. Spiritual Changes: Connecting to Something Bigger Through Motherhood
I see motherhood as a spiritual path in itself. Motherhood invites you to connect more deeply with yourself, your child, and the essence of life itself. However, this journey isn’t always easy. The challenges you face can push you to your limits, but often, you emerge from them having learned more about yourself and the world around you. The act of caring for a new life tends to spark existential contemplations - questions about your purpose, your values, and your place in the world. I haven’t read it myself (yet!), but I’ve heard that The Existential Crisis of Motherhood by Claire Arnold-Baker explores this in more detail.
These reflections may lead to moments of uncertainty, but they also offer opportunities for self-reflection and spiritual growth. Motherhood encourages you to trust your instincts, surrender to the unknown, and embrace the transformative nature of the experience. As difficult as it can be, these challenges can deepen your connection to life, helping you find clarity and a renewed sense of purpose.
The spiritual journey of motherhood is an ongoing one, filled with highs and lows. Yet, through the struggles, mothers often find themselves more grounded, more in tune with their inner selves, and more connected to the beauty of everyday moments. Many people find that even in the hardest moments there can be found growth and meaning.
Embracing the Complexity of Matrescence
Entering motherhood is a time of immense change, spanning across biological, psychological, social, political, and spiritual domains. Each transformation you experience as a new mom is a part of your unique journey through matrescence, touching who you are as a mother and a person.
Embracing the complexity of this journey can feel overwhelming at times. It’s okay if it doesn’t always feel like an opportunity for growth and self-discovery, and leaves you more like “wtf???”. Even still, each challenge, each shift, and each moment of reflection adds to your strength, resilience, and wisdom.
As you navigate the transitions of motherhood, you are evolving in powerful ways. Your matrescence is a personal and transformative journey, one that deserves to be recognized, honored, and celebrated. Continue learning, sharing, and connecting with others who are walking the same path. Together, we can create a community where every mother feels seen, supported, and empowered.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ceridwen is a postpartum doula and lactation counsellor based in the Cayman Islands. She offers personalised, evidence-based information to help pregnant families prepare for their baby’s arrival. After birth, she helps postpartum families to feel calm, confident, and cared for, with a focus on lactation, mental health, and community building.
Learn more about Ceridwen here.
